“ I need help with…” Is a common phrase that surely has graced every household.
Having kids is tough work, managing a whole family is likely the most mentally and physically challenging task you will take on. It takes WORK and often it’s difficult to find the help that we need.
Our family has needed help often and not living very close to extended family we’ve found that it helps to get a bit more creative when seeking help for life’s everyday challenges.
When I think “village” my thoughts immediately go to a regular group of trusted individuals who help with the daily demands such as need assistance with childcare, freeing up time for house pickup and clean up, and the occasional meal provisions.
Villages historically came in the form of tight-knit communities or multigenerational households that gathered and were initially influenced by various social, economic, and cultural factors. Though there is currently a resurgence of multigenerational households in the US that is not the case for all families. With the economic pressures many families having two full-time working parents, parents are often found without additional help or available resources to alleviate the demands of everyday life.
What can be done? The answer isn’t always to have one working parent or one stay-at-home parent. This can often cause a shift in the household dynamics, which can overburden one parent. Of course, more success can be possible through established roles, routines, and expectations..but we’re often too tired to take that first step.
Here are other options or ideas to garner help when needed:
Embrace the Power of Connection
First things first – let’s break down those walls of isolation and embrace the power of connection. Whether you’re a new mom, a seasoned pro, or somewhere in between, reaching out to others who are on a similar journey can be incredibly empowering. Seek out local mommy groups, parenting classes, or online communities where you can connect with like-minded individuals. Remember, you’re not alone in this – there are plenty of moms out there who are eager to lend an ear, offer advice, or simply share a laugh over the ups and downs of parenting.
- Find a local Facebook group labeled “parents” or “community”, or titled ” (insert location) area moms”, “healthy moms of (insert location)
- Seek out parenting classes with the local medical center, daycare, or fitness centre
- Find your right fit mommy and me group
- You can often find flyers for these at the local library and also through the resources noted above.
- Visit your local library for regular story time and playgroups or use it as a resource to find local events.
Share Your Strengths and Seek Support
We all have our strengths and weaknesses as parents, and that’s perfectly okay. In fact, it’s what makes us human. One of the keys to building a strong support village is recognizing where your strengths lie and being willing to share them with others. Whether you’re a whiz in the kitchen, a master organizer, or a pro at soothing fussy babies, there’s always something you can offer to those around you. At the same time, don’t hesitate to reach out when you need support.
- Barter or offer services
- I didn’t know this was really a thing until I moved to my current area. Are you good at making bread? Sewing, or available to run a carpool pickup? I have been pleasantly surprised to see parents willing to barter these services in our local Facebook groups.
Get Creative with Community-Building Activities
Building a mommy village isn’t just about swapping parenting tips or seeking help with the everyday (though that’s certainly a big part of it!). It’s also about finding fun and creative ways to connect with your community and build meaningful relationships.
Organize playdates at the park, host potluck dinners, or start a book club for moms. Get creative and think outside the box – the possibilities are endless! Not only will these activities strengthen your bonds with other moms, but they’ll also create lasting memories for you and your little ones.
Foster a Culture of Kindness and Inclusivity
In a world where judgment and comparison can run rampant, be sure to create a space of kindness and inclusivity. Celebrate the diversity of experiences and perspectives within your community, and embrace the unique strengths that each person brings to the table. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting, and what works for one family may not work for another. By fostering a culture of acceptance and support, you can create a safe space where everyone feels valued and respected.
Pay it Forward
Your kindness and your time can be your greatest resources when building your community or village. Just as others have helped you along your parenting journey, take the opportunity to lend a helping hand to those who need it. Whether it’s offering to babysit for a fellow parent in need, bringing over a home-cooked meal for a family going through a tough time, or simply offering a word of encouragement, small gestures can make a big difference. A few years ago, when we had our son, we were so incredibly moved by the thoughtful gift packages that arrived on our doorstep from our neighbors each day. It not only helped to foster a community of kindness but it also helped to build an inclusive and welcoming environment. By paying it forward, you not only strengthen your village but also contribute to a ripple effect of kindness and generosity within your community.
